The Gregg Sutter Website

William F. Wood

How to coexist with skunks. You can live near skunks it you don’t alarm them. Several year ago, skunks started raiding my hen house for eggs. The hens were locked in at night so to gain access the skunks burrowed under the walls. I put a floor under the house to discourage them. When they tried to get in, they made a burrow large enough to live in. For the next year or so, they would appear most nights just after dark and scavenge any of the table scraps the chickens had not eaten. In the year, they did not spray once. After dark, when I went over near the pen, I made noise so they knew I was approaching. They readily left and never threatened me with even a lifted tail. After I got rid of the hens, they disappeared.

The American naturalist, Ernest Thompson Seton, wrote a chapter “The Well-meaning Skunk” in his book Wild Animals at Home (Grosset & Dunlap, New York, 1913, 226p.) During a summer at Yellowstone Park, two skunks took up residence under the floor of his cabin. These skunks became quite tame and at times came into the cabin in the evenings. They never had occasion to spray their defensive secretion and were viewed as beneficial. Seton wrote. “They cleaned up our garbage, so helped rid us of flies and mice.” For many years after this he allowed skunks to live in close proximity and even photographed his young daughter playing with these skunks, “full-grown specimens in full possession of all their faculties.”

via Living with Skunks.

Now that’s entertainment!

I bought my first pagan baby when I was nine. His name was Daniel James
Click here to see My Certificate of Adoption as a Souvenir of the Ransom and Baptism of an Adopted Pagan baby named Daniel James.
This is the outfit that ransomed Dan. They had orders from the Pope.

My role was outlined in point 16 of the RERUM ECCLESIAE ENCYCLICAL OF POPE PIUS XI ON CATHOLIC MISSIONS:

16. The object of the Association of the Holy Childhood is, as is well known, to train children so that they will accustom themselves to set aside a certain amount of their money allowance in order to give the same for the redemption and Catholic education of heathen babies who have been abandoned by their parents or have been exposed to death as often happens in certain lands.

Dan was doing quite well but then I got this urgent letter from him the other day.

My Dear Catholic Surrogate Holy Father:
I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equalling US$40,000,000. The Nigerian National Petroleum Company is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region.
Oh Father, I beseech you for your assistance as the boy you ransomed and bought, to assist the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company. In exchange for your accomodating services, the Nigerian National Petroleum Company would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount. It would be payback for the five dollars you saved and put in your pagan baby bank.
However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria.
If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. I will meet you in Lagos and we can talk about the old time religion, and I will introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Petroleum Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Nigeria.
Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it.
Yours truly,
Your pagan baby,
Daniel James

Come on, man. Do it for the world. Bet you’ll get confirmed faster!

Ms. Amy drove her fuel inefficent 1965 Cadillac Sedan Deville to Little Rock last week. Her Honda Insight is in the trunk.

I don’t mind freaks of nature, but the ones in government do offend me.

The answer to Patti Page’s musical question.